I am the table

Hey guess what? Yeah, you there, the internet. Scourge and Collected Shorts right, they're both available as ebooks exclusively for Amazon. And right now, since Mondays really suck, they're both free until Tuesday, which an old manager of mine once told me was the worst day of the week, because it wasn't Monday, wasn't the middle of the week and wasn't near the end. It sucks.

But this offer doesn't suck, and I sound like a sleazy salesman!

Got Scourge FREE today and tomorrow on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0078ERD1K/ref=cm_sw_su_dp

Get Collected Shorts FREE today and tomorrow on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00E1U3RVY/ref=cm_sw_su_dp

THESE PRICES ARE INSAAAAANE

If you're from another country, like the EU or India, I believe you can just change those links up there - alter the .com to the .co.uk or .in for wherever you are in the world, and it should work (as long as your country has an Amazon assigned web address suffix) :)

I'm in a fairly good mood today. It might be because I looked at a bottle of alcohol sideways, or it might be because I enjoy conversing with awesome friends. Maybe it's because I'm staring directly at a while screen and it hurts my eyes.


Also! There will be postcards. At the Cardiff Comic Con NEXT MONTH, I'll have postcards galore of The Story of Us - there's four prints to choose one. One is of Nicola and I on an elephant. Oh, the hilarity. I also just got a delivery of (the first series of Frasier) some posters for the con - they're pretty fancy! YEAH

Right now I'm eating a Rice Krispie Square! Its deeply unhealthy! YEEEEEAH

LIFE EXISTS

Yo ho ho

Wow I've posted quite a bit this month it seems. Its probably due to the fact that I'm at present at the tail end of two weeks off work (it feels like forever though) and because a number looks big to me if its above 1.

Aaaaanyway

I was having issues with CreateSpace yesterday and today what with the formatting and nonsense I have to go through just to get something past the uploader (seriously it had no issue with the word docs I was pushing into it, but the second I uploaded a PDF and it screamed at me). BUT I persevered and managed to finish it which was something.

I even had time today to write a birthday card for a great friend two months in advance. I am SO on top of things.

Or maybe the antibiotics are messing with my brain. Whichever.

Here's a picture!

That's going to be the cover of my collection. Sadly I decided that it was too difficult for me to even attempt at making the books myself, so I opted for the Amazon CreateSpace avenue and put them all together. Luckily they are currently coming up as fairly inexpensive as I've not set the UK prices by America so they shouldn't change. See there's even a fancy mushroom cloud that doesn't look like a goddamn clown on it (serious Google Images, WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL).

Hey now, here's another photo!

That's me right there, expertly riding a hippo in Berlin Zoo. I am so cool.

My feets

I had to have antibiotics from the doctor because a door tried to assassinate me in Germany. Something to do with feet, and I try not to think about it because I despise feet.

Anyhooo, its half way through my second week off work and I came to the terrifying conclusion that I may or may not have forgotten my passwords. Woot. Two weeks off and my brain has turned to jelly.

Also I made this just now - there's a startling amount of gravestone generators out there it would seem...

That's just something I'm working on right now. I am still no closer to the whole CreateSpace/collections of shorts conundrum, but it is looking much more likely that I'm either going to have to resort to CS or desperately attempt to bribe the library to print stuff on A6 paper. Libraries man, they be all 'what's A6 paper'.

Also, fuck moths. I apologise to any moths reading this, but seriously my lampshade isn't the fun place you should hold your 'lets fly into things inside things' parties. Take it outside, guys.

Berlin is awesome

Yeah it is, I came back from there on Friday and it was pretty amazing. They have underground AND overground trains. My mind was officially blown the moment I stepped off the plane.

Either that or it was my ears popping EVERY FIVE MINUTES

Anyways, before I went away to Berlin I got copies of this in the post - in a giant white sack from Amazon:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Story-Us-Sarah-Harding-Roberts/dp/1490466266/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1373918781&sr=8-1&keywords=the+story+of+us+sarah+harding+roberts

Its now available from Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com (copying that link and changing the .co.uk to .com totally works) and will be with me in a limited capacity at the Cardiff Comic Con. Now all I need to do is get paid and I can buy everything else I need and my plan will nearly be complete...

I'm also working on short stories which may or may not become full stories depending on reception to them at the con. I really don't know whether or not I ought to make them free, or to make them available as a bundle - such as a bundle that is also called a book, but how I would print said book (I could do CreateSpace but the turn around on the copies I order from the US would take too long for me at this point) is beyond me, so I may end up running around like a headless chicken in Central Library on August 29th on my lunchbreak printing copies. I'd like for that to not happen though. I run more like a mentally ill penguin rather than a headless chicken and it's just sad to watch.

Wut wut wut wut

Yeah I finished CreateSpace. I mastered CreateSpace. I became LORD AND MASTER OF GODDAMN CREATESPACE.

I finished uploading and editing and finishing the comic, and its now on it's way to me - 20 copies (because I couldn't really get any more right now and seriously, there needs to be a CreateSpace UK so I can order them from the UK and not the US of A to get them cheaper and faster) for me to take to the Cardiff Comic Con.

Things man, they be happening all over the place.

Additionally, I came up with a new character called Cake Radge. Here he is:

Other than this terrible news, I am doing other things but I don't feel like telling you about them now.


Like thinking about doing some more short stories. Dammit, my plan failed!

CreateSpace makes me spit blood from my eyes

I'm having a few issues shall we say with Create Space, Amazon's book creating website which users are able to upload their work to, then have copies printed on demand by Amazon in America/the UK. I created my book Scourge there and it took a while (also the realisation I never included page numbers), but it worked.

Comics however are a whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooole different thing all together. I didn't know what a DPI was so I Googled it - only to have the internet laugh snarkily at me as it said "DPI doesn't exist".

IF IT DOESN'T EXIST WHY IS CREATE SPACE SHOUTING AT ME ABOUT IT I HATE YOU INTERNET AND YOUR STUPID FACE

So after a while some less snarky websites told me something about PPI (at which point I broke out in a cold sweat, felt very dizzy and blacked out) which is apparently not the type of Payment Protection Insurance I may or may not have to deal with on a goddamn daily basis, but something to do with pixels per inch or some such balls.

Anyways, long story short the internet failed to help much at all, because whilst I managed to get some of my images for the comic to the correct (apparently non-existent) DPI number (which is 300 in case you weren't wondering), ten of the images still aren't DPI 300 enough for Create Space so its still shouting at me. I don't know what else I am supposed to do, short of screaming at people on the street and handing them crumpled copies of the ten comics Create Space doesn't appear to like.

What's not to like?

This one has a foot in it (sidenote: I HATE FEET)

Stuck on the train

 On my way to get a new passport because mine expired in 2009, but the train is delayed because of an accident between Cardiff and Newport.

They are trying to switch tracks for the train and go the other way to Newport waah.

This is my view now